• athairmor@lemmy.world
    3·
    7 hours ago

    Imagine Jeopardy! in about 20 years.

    “This FBI director lost a lawsuit against a man who called him a ‘googly-eyed’ chud.”

    I wonder if people will be too embarrassed by this era to be able to answer, “Who is Kash Patel?” We they be able to admit this doofus was given such power?

  • nkat2112@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    87·
    1 day ago

    Lordy, this is good - someone call the burn unit to rescue Patel:

    Stewartson celebrated the final order, which referenced his comment in a footnote. “I’d like to commend the judge for including ‘googly-eyed Kremlin bitch’ in his ruling,” Stewartson wrote on X Tuesday.

    “PSA: Now that my case is settled, you are free to refer to @FBIDirectorKash as a ‘chud,’ a ‘googly-eyed Kremlin bitch,’ and a ‘traitor’ without fear of legal repercussions!” he wrote in another post.

    This was Patel’s doing and now he’ll be remembered on the legal docket for this - to say nothing about his continuous humiliation in social networking platforms and the media.

    EDIT: I forgot to end this comment by pointing out that FBI Director Patel is a googly-eyed Kremlin Bitch.

    • ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de
      10·
      20 hours ago

      I particularly liked that he didn’t call him a “googly eyed kremlin bitch” until a response to the courts from a Nevada ruling in Patels favor for $250k against the guy, as he seemed to dismiss that ruling because the journalist had no ties with Nevada.

      • EvilBit@lemmy.world
        1·
        20 minutes ago

        I really would love to see a skit based on this.

        “Your honor, the defense submits into evidence Exhibit C, a bag of googly eyes from JoAnn Fabrics.”

        “Objection! I fail to see how this is relevant.” Gestures at evidence while Patel in background is seen with nearly identically googly eyes

        Judge (looks at Patel, one beat): “Overruled. Defense, continue.”

        “Defense also submits Exhibit D, a t-shirt with the graphic text in glittery pink stating ‘Putin’s Little Kremlin Bitch’, recovered from Plaintiff’s home.”

        Judge: “While we’re submitting evidence, do you have any exhibits pertaining to the claims that Director Patel is a, quote, (reading from a paper) ‘weaselly little ass-goblin’, a ‘mushroom-licking megachode’, a ‘fat-faced, pencil-necked suckup’, or a (adjusts glasses, clears throat) ‘sniveling, attention-whoring, brown-nosing, goose-stepping, gold-digging, unqualified, untalented, unattractive, unappealing, whiny, [30-second long censorship bleep]-gargling chud’?”

        Defense lawyer waves at courtroom doors, which burst open with clerks pushing several wheeled carts of paraphernalia

        Patel’s lawyer whips his head around to glare at Patel, who shrugs sheepishly, then turns to the judge.

        “Your honor, Plaintiff would like to settle.”

        Judge: “Defense?”

        “Oh hell no, this is too awesome. Defense would urge the Plaintiff to check Instagram for my client’s latest if he’d like to sue us again. We’re free next week.”

      • Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world
        9·
        1 day ago

        Oh Jesus. Did our reality get mixed with a reality that carries on like a SNL skit? Are all of our current problems, problems that would be funny in a skit, but not in our reality?

        Oh fuck. It makes sense now. It’s why Trump and everyone who follows him seems to be unrealistically corny and stupid. To stupid to function, but somehow has total power? SNL reality has melded with our reality.

        • Pistachio@lemmy.zip
          5·
          1 day ago

          I mean, SNL has had quite a few “skits” in which they literally just reread the transcripts. Famous example would be Matt Damon’s reprisal of Coach Kavanaugh’s senate confirmation rant