“Your honor, the defense submits into evidence Exhibit C, a bag of googly eyes from JoAnn Fabrics.”
“Objection! I fail to see how this is relevant.”
Gestures at evidence while Patel in background is seen with nearly identically googly eyes
Judge (looks at Patel, one beat): “Overruled. Defense, continue.”
“Defense also submits Exhibit D, a t-shirt with the graphic text in glittery pink stating ‘Putin’s Little Kremlin Bitch’, recovered from Plaintiff’s home.”
Judge: “While we’re submitting evidence, do you have any exhibits pertaining to the claims that Director Patel is a, quote, (reading from a paper) ‘weaselly little ass-goblin’, a ‘mushroom-licking megachode’, a ‘fat-faced, pencil-necked suckup’, or a (adjusts glasses, clears throat) ‘sniveling, attention-whoring, brown-nosing, goose-stepping, gold-digging, unqualified, untalented, unattractive, unappealing, whiny, [30-second long censorship bleep]-gargling chud’?”
Defense lawyer waves at courtroom doors, which burst open with clerks pushing several wheeled carts of paraphernalia
Patel’s lawyer whips his head around to glare at Patel, who shrugs sheepishly, then turns to the judge.
“Your honor, Plaintiff would like to settle.”
Judge: “Defense?”
“Oh hell no, this is too awesome. Defense would urge the Plaintiff to check Instagram for my client’s latest if he’d like to sue us again. We’re free next week.”
Oh Jesus. Did our reality get mixed with a reality that carries on like a SNL skit? Are all of our current problems, problems that would be funny in a skit, but not in our reality?
Oh fuck. It makes sense now. It’s why Trump and everyone who follows him seems to be unrealistically corny and stupid. To stupid to function, but somehow has total power?
SNL reality has melded with our reality.
I mean, SNL has had quite a few “skits” in which they literally just reread the transcripts. Famous example would be Matt Damon’s reprisal of Coach Kavanaugh’s senate confirmation rant
If you didn’t know who he was, you’d assume it was some SNL skit.
I really would love to see a skit based on this.
“Your honor, the defense submits into evidence Exhibit C, a bag of googly eyes from JoAnn Fabrics.”
“Objection! I fail to see how this is relevant.” Gestures at evidence while Patel in background is seen with nearly identically googly eyes
Judge (looks at Patel, one beat): “Overruled. Defense, continue.”
“Defense also submits Exhibit D, a t-shirt with the graphic text in glittery pink stating ‘Putin’s Little Kremlin Bitch’, recovered from Plaintiff’s home.”
Judge: “While we’re submitting evidence, do you have any exhibits pertaining to the claims that Director Patel is a, quote, (reading from a paper) ‘weaselly little ass-goblin’, a ‘mushroom-licking megachode’, a ‘fat-faced, pencil-necked suckup’, or a (adjusts glasses, clears throat) ‘sniveling, attention-whoring, brown-nosing, goose-stepping, gold-digging, unqualified, untalented, unattractive, unappealing, whiny, [30-second long censorship bleep]-gargling chud’?”
Defense lawyer waves at courtroom doors, which burst open with clerks pushing several wheeled carts of paraphernalia
Patel’s lawyer whips his head around to glare at Patel, who shrugs sheepishly, then turns to the judge.
“Your honor, Plaintiff would like to settle.”
Judge: “Defense?”
“Oh hell no, this is too awesome. Defense would urge the Plaintiff to check Instagram for my client’s latest if he’d like to sue us again. We’re free next week.”
Oh Jesus. Did our reality get mixed with a reality that carries on like a SNL skit? Are all of our current problems, problems that would be funny in a skit, but not in our reality?
Oh fuck. It makes sense now. It’s why Trump and everyone who follows him seems to be unrealistically corny and stupid. To stupid to function, but somehow has total power? SNL reality has melded with our reality.
I mean, SNL has had quite a few “skits” in which they literally just reread the transcripts. Famous example would be Matt Damon’s reprisal of Coach Kavanaugh’s senate confirmation rant