Overall it’s just the huge amount of ghosting that really bothers me. I put effort into the messages I send, trying to give open-ended questions that you can answer however you like, and then getting nothing in return.
Or getting judged so hard for being bisexual sucks, especially because 1. I’m like 95% straight, and 2. being Bi doesn’t mean you’re more prone to cheating.
Women say they want a caring, empathetic guy, someone who’s in touch with his feminine side, but if they ever have a chance to date a guy who’s actually made the effort to explore his sexuality, and get in touch with his feminine side, NOPE! God forbid they don’t fit into the weird patriarchal gender roles that you claim to buck. 🙄
I recently changed my profile to just say I’m straight, because, I dunno, I feel more straight than bi, and wanted to see if I got more matches. and boy did I ever! Turns out women just really hate bi men, and that fucking sucks, dude.
Then I’ll go on dates with women, and despite going OK, I’m just not getting any signs from them. They’ll spend time looking at their phones, don’t tuck their hair behind their ear, don’t give me the sexy eyes, don’t give me the casual arm touch, don’t ask follow-up questions (or any questions, really), and then when we say goodbye at the end, I get a half, one-arm hug. And then they want a second date! Why! It was clear from the first date you weren’t into me, so why are we even bothering with a second!?
Then there’s the cat-fishing. Using old pictures from when you were 100+ lbs lighter. Like, you really thought I’d show up and not care that I’m no longer attracted to you? People want to date people they’re attracted to! Then there’s the women with the crazy contortionist pictures, and lemme just give everybody a tip. If the only full-body pictures a woman has, are ones where she 1. is literally hiding parts of her body, like a picture in a mirror, but half her body isn’t being reflected, or in a group shot, and she’s half behind someone else 2. where she’s standing in some weird position, like ass towards the camera, but she’s craning herself around to face the camera as well, or 3. Where there’s gratuitous big titties being shown, but they somehow cover up her torso… Yeah, she ain’t hiding a 6 pack! it’s because she got a big ol’ belly, and doesn’t want you to see it until you’re on a date, in which case she’s convinced that you’ll have a sunk-cost fallacy and think “well, I’m already here and like her personality…” No! it’s some bullshit. They are literally pretending to be someone they’re not. Fuck off. I’ll give’em a pity fuck if I feel like it and then I’m gone.
Another thing to watch out for that tell you they’re cat-fishing, if right before you’re supposed to meet, they talk about a “weight loss journey,” or about how they “used to be into cross-fit” or hiking or whatever… yeah, it’s because they gained a bunch of weight, and want you to to think that if you only give them some time, they’ll be right back to their regular skinny self. NOPE. They won’t. I’m not a stock trader, I’m not looking to “buy low, sell high” when it comes to dating. I’m not looking to fix anybody, or date somebody’s “potential.” I’m looking to date a person. A full, complete, realized fucking adult person. Someone who doesn’t manipulate, someone who doesn’t lie about themselves, someone who doesn’t have to trick me into going on a date with them. How about this, you be yourself, and I’ll be myself, and if we like each other, it’ll work, and if we don’t, no harm done.
Also, I’ve had women set up dates, and then just, not show up and ghost me. What the fuck? It’s happened multiple times. There should be a report feature on dating sites for this behavior, because it’s absolutely fucked.
If it’s any consolation, I’m a woman and get the all the same bullshit. I put effort in, I read bios, I give thoughtful answers and openers…
Half my conversations are them asking to fuck, a third are just doa and don’t respond and whatever’s left is the driest most unengaging conversation you could possibly imagine.
When I do find someone worth chatting with long term I end up having to set everything up only for them to either ghost or just fade away through text over the course of a few days.
Do you only swipe right on the really hot looking guys? Cos then that’s to be expected, unfortunately. I could imagine that going for rather average looking guys might help. Cos the average guy ain’t getting a lot of matches, so we are happy over basically any match at all, let alone one that puts effort into a conversation.
I’m bi and when I match, I match with all types of people. I’m also demisexual and need a connection to really take notice of someone’s attractiveness. Like I can tell when someone is objectively attractive but i could really care less. Body type is tertiary to compatibility for me.
Then I’ll go on dates with women, and despite going OK, I’m just not getting any signs from them. They’ll spend time looking at their phones, don’t tuck their hair behind their ear, don’t give me the sexy eyes, don’t give me the casual arm touch, don’t ask follow-up questions (or any questions, really), and then when we say goodbye at the end, I get a half, one-arm hug. And then they want a second date! Why! It was clear from the first date you weren’t into me, so why are we even bothering with a second!?
That seems liken a sign to me unless you’re in a scripted RomCom where all the other signs you mention may apply.
Nah, it’s like we’re on the date but there’s no chemistry. I can barely make her laugh more than a couple times, and the only topic seems to be things we both dislike. Just had a second date with this woman, and it was much like the first, sort of nice, but chemistry-wise… meh. After the second date we go from texting multiple times a day, to her ghosting me for 2 days straight. She says “sorry, I was sick in bed.” oh dang, I didn’t realize phones weren’t allowed in bed! 2 whole days, nothing. This from the woman that wanted a second date. Now she’s just bread crumbing me. I can tell that she’s looking for someone better/talking to other guys, while spoon feeding me lil sporadic texts that I get once a day now. Like, what’s the fucking point? She’s obviously just looking for someone better. So fuck her. Dating in the age of apps is literally the fucking worst.
Overall it’s just the huge amount of ghosting that really bothers me. I put effort into the messages I send, trying to give open-ended questions that you can answer however you like, and then getting nothing in return.
Or getting judged so hard for being bisexual sucks, especially because 1. I’m like 95% straight, and 2. being Bi doesn’t mean you’re more prone to cheating.
Women say they want a caring, empathetic guy, someone who’s in touch with his feminine side, but if they ever have a chance to date a guy who’s actually made the effort to explore his sexuality, and get in touch with his feminine side, NOPE! God forbid they don’t fit into the weird patriarchal gender roles that you claim to buck. 🙄
I recently changed my profile to just say I’m straight, because, I dunno, I feel more straight than bi, and wanted to see if I got more matches. and boy did I ever! Turns out women just really hate bi men, and that fucking sucks, dude.
Then I’ll go on dates with women, and despite going OK, I’m just not getting any signs from them. They’ll spend time looking at their phones, don’t tuck their hair behind their ear, don’t give me the sexy eyes, don’t give me the casual arm touch, don’t ask follow-up questions (or any questions, really), and then when we say goodbye at the end, I get a half, one-arm hug. And then they want a second date! Why! It was clear from the first date you weren’t into me, so why are we even bothering with a second!?
Then there’s the cat-fishing. Using old pictures from when you were 100+ lbs lighter. Like, you really thought I’d show up and not care that I’m no longer attracted to you? People want to date people they’re attracted to! Then there’s the women with the crazy contortionist pictures, and lemme just give everybody a tip. If the only full-body pictures a woman has, are ones where she 1. is literally hiding parts of her body, like a picture in a mirror, but half her body isn’t being reflected, or in a group shot, and she’s half behind someone else 2. where she’s standing in some weird position, like ass towards the camera, but she’s craning herself around to face the camera as well, or 3. Where there’s gratuitous big titties being shown, but they somehow cover up her torso… Yeah, she ain’t hiding a 6 pack! it’s because she got a big ol’ belly, and doesn’t want you to see it until you’re on a date, in which case she’s convinced that you’ll have a sunk-cost fallacy and think “well, I’m already here and like her personality…” No! it’s some bullshit. They are literally pretending to be someone they’re not. Fuck off. I’ll give’em a pity fuck if I feel like it and then I’m gone.
Another thing to watch out for that tell you they’re cat-fishing, if right before you’re supposed to meet, they talk about a “weight loss journey,” or about how they “used to be into cross-fit” or hiking or whatever… yeah, it’s because they gained a bunch of weight, and want you to to think that if you only give them some time, they’ll be right back to their regular skinny self. NOPE. They won’t. I’m not a stock trader, I’m not looking to “buy low, sell high” when it comes to dating. I’m not looking to fix anybody, or date somebody’s “potential.” I’m looking to date a person. A full, complete, realized fucking adult person. Someone who doesn’t manipulate, someone who doesn’t lie about themselves, someone who doesn’t have to trick me into going on a date with them. How about this, you be yourself, and I’ll be myself, and if we like each other, it’ll work, and if we don’t, no harm done.
Also, I’ve had women set up dates, and then just, not show up and ghost me. What the fuck? It’s happened multiple times. There should be a report feature on dating sites for this behavior, because it’s absolutely fucked.
If it’s any consolation, I’m a woman and get the all the same bullshit. I put effort in, I read bios, I give thoughtful answers and openers…
Half my conversations are them asking to fuck, a third are just doa and don’t respond and whatever’s left is the driest most unengaging conversation you could possibly imagine.
When I do find someone worth chatting with long term I end up having to set everything up only for them to either ghost or just fade away through text over the course of a few days.
It’s soul crushing. I hardly even bother anymore.
Do you only swipe right on the really hot looking guys? Cos then that’s to be expected, unfortunately. I could imagine that going for rather average looking guys might help. Cos the average guy ain’t getting a lot of matches, so we are happy over basically any match at all, let alone one that puts effort into a conversation.
I’m bi and when I match, I match with all types of people. I’m also demisexual and need a connection to really take notice of someone’s attractiveness. Like I can tell when someone is objectively attractive but i could really care less. Body type is tertiary to compatibility for me.
straight women hate bi men, for sure. i have been regularly accused of being gay/bi because I like to read and cook and I have a cat.
And when I say I’m not, they are like relieved and go on this rant about how all gay/bi men are disgusting and gross people.
It’s fucking weird and awful. I want to punch women like that in the face, but not like it would do any good.
It’s incredibly common, esp eamong ‘liberal’ women who claim they are into diversity and inclusion… but you know not of bi men. because bi men are ew.
Removed by mod
Removed by mod
That seems liken a sign to me unless you’re in a scripted RomCom where all the other signs you mention may apply.
Nah, it’s like we’re on the date but there’s no chemistry. I can barely make her laugh more than a couple times, and the only topic seems to be things we both dislike. Just had a second date with this woman, and it was much like the first, sort of nice, but chemistry-wise… meh. After the second date we go from texting multiple times a day, to her ghosting me for 2 days straight. She says “sorry, I was sick in bed.” oh dang, I didn’t realize phones weren’t allowed in bed! 2 whole days, nothing. This from the woman that wanted a second date. Now she’s just bread crumbing me. I can tell that she’s looking for someone better/talking to other guys, while spoon feeding me lil sporadic texts that I get once a day now. Like, what’s the fucking point? She’s obviously just looking for someone better. So fuck her. Dating in the age of apps is literally the fucking worst.