We’ve suspected for years she’s a spy. Mitch is a venal goblin. It only makes sense that he would endanger our national security with nuptials also.

Shamelessness is a tactic I think they adopted in order to prevent scandals from causing irreparable damage. If they stay resolutely shameless, they develop the ability to outmaneuver scandal by inoculating everyone against it. Everyone expects there to be zero consequences, and so eventually there aren’t any. A slow steady trickle of scandals might even be beneficial to this end. It numbs people. Major scandals get rolled into the machinery of diminished expectations, and here you have a fizzled story of this size. Americans are hypnotized by this scandal machine. It’s just a hypothesis of mine.

His mother allegedly voted several times in the poll.

Ka$h Patel? The Female Body Inspector Director? You got the wrong guy, guy.

It’s like we’re in the Twilight Zone or something. What a weird world this is.