I’m beginning to accept that I may never be in a relationship again. There are life expectations I have for myself, some admittedly selfish, but really, the idea of having to deal with another grownup who is as obstinate as I am has left me disillusioned about relationships. But I want to have kids. I want to be a father. For women, its fairy easy, go to a sperm bank, pick your choice, get the procedure done and you are on your way. What is the process for dudes? I believe its going to involve a surrogate, but where does one get a donor egg and what not? I am not looking to have a relationship with an egg donor or the surrogate, just me and the kids.
I’m not a comparative sort of person, but I’ve seen people with far greater personal handicaps than my own become parents, I don’t judge. Everyone has their own story.
Sure, by bringing children into this world to fulfill your own psychological needs, you are no different than any other parent.
Just putting myself in the head of someone who is willing to surrogate and betting they want to imagine their child growing up in a two-parent home.
I wanted to be a husband and a full time dad. I’ve tried step 1 and it did not go well. Does that mean I don’t qualify for step 2? Also, there are kids who wake up in a two parent home and end up in a single parent home, or in the foster system, or homeless. Doesn’t always work out as one intends, best foot forward is the next best alternate in my books.
No worries, man, I’m an anti-natalist. I don’t think anyone should be brought into this world, so you don’t need to justify anything to me.
The question is how you get society to give you a child, and I think you’ll have to compete with more traditional family units for the scarce resources of egg & womb. If you want to adopt pre-existing older kids, you’ll have less to contend against.