Be kind to service workers.
Patience, thank yous, and trying to understand how to make their job easier (e.g. not waiting to look at the fast food menu until you’re at the front).
Short, low stakes practice.
Also if they are struggling to figure out something(scanner not working, getting weird error due to network connection issues, trying to find an obscure option you requested etc) be quiet and let them work. Don’t try to make small talk, let them concentrate on what they are doing.
And if they apologize, respond politely, and tell it is alright. You can wait for a bit.
Leave a solid 1.5 to 2 car lengths between you and the vehicle in front of you while on the highway. When someone wants to merge into that space, let them and recreate the separation. It’s a kindness not just to those who merge into the space, but to all drivers as it makes travel for everyone safer and lower stress.
Leaving gaps also prevents having to slow down or stop as often and reduces traffic congestion overall.
1.5 to 2 car lengths
on the highway.
You call that leaving a gap? Going that close would be regarded as severe aggression on our Autobahn. Even punishable in many cases.
Sadly, it’s extremely common practice for folks to leave far less than even 1 car length even traveling at 60 or 70 mph. :(
I see now why it is that easy for the so-called self driving cars to produce (seemingly) good statistics.
I try to keep 2 seconds of space, but find myself encroaching cliser in traffic.
Part of the defensive driving cold war is protecting space in front of you.
Uh, 2 car lenghts on the highway? Isn’t that… Incredibly small? Am I missing something here?
Be gentle with yourself. For example if you make an error, withhold calling yourself stupid, or think it. Reassure yourself that errors happen, and learn from it.
One time I called myself stupid in front of a friend who without missing a beat said “don’t say that about my friend!” in a super offended voice and I think about that all the time.
That friend sounds cool.
Man, that is a FANTASTIC response to someone saying something bad about themselves! I’m going to use that one if I can. Your friend is inspiring!
This is so hard. I am doing all the other stuff regularly but this one will always be my nemesis.
It’s like a muscle, it gets better with practice.
I have underlying issues that force me to sacrifice my mental health just to survive, and thus I lack the safety margin to be gentle to myself.
I wanna get to a point where I can practice kindness on myself but I am not in a position where I can do so at this point.
I’ve been there before, I totally understand. Stay safe.
Give genuine compliments to random people every time you can.
I’m telling you, this works. Each day, pause to think of three things for which you are grateful. It can be big or small. Examples that I’ve used: that I got to spend the evening with a close friend who has a typically busy schedule, that I slept especially well the night before, that the book I was reading turned out to be a good one, etc.
Sometimes it’s something profound about how someone positively mentored me when I was younger. Or small stuff like knowing that there’s a piece of cheesecake waiting for me in the fridge. The point is to do it every day. It’s kinda awkward getting going, but then it becomes second nature and they come to mind effortlessly. I am convinced that it’s made me a calmer, nicer, more understanding person.
If you’re asking, then you’re probably on the way already. Mindfulness of the way other people feel (also known as empathy) is a massive part of being kind to other people.
Simply live life knowing that everyone is their own person with an equally complex life as your’s and treat them as you would like to be treated.
Ask questions and don’t assume you somehow know a person or their life better than they do. Nothing more annoying than a person attempting to “help” but ends up coming across as a condescending dismissive asshole.
Have you tried essential oils?
Remember that every person you meet has their own life going on with their own stress and drama. It makes it easier to be kind to the ones who are not being kind to you. And doing this will help a lot of them to also be kinder to others. It’s a positive feedback loop.
If I see someone wearing something I like, be it piercings, hair colour, earrings, etc., I will complement them. The smile on their face is worth it.
I have my own personal thoughts on this, so take this how you will.
Think about times where you have been angry at how people miss handled situations with you and try not to put others in the same boat if you ever find yourself in a flipped position.
Putting yourself in another person’s shoes also helps. If somebody is doing something that you don’t agree with but you might do if you were in the same situation as them, then you should probably cut them some slack or at least respond proportionately.
A really big one was a lot of people is stress and having trouble dealing with their own problems. A lot of the time people will act much harsher and disregard others when they have tunnel vision from their own issues. Being aware of your own current mindset can be helpful for realizing that you might need to take a step back and breathe before committing an action or saying something that you might not mean later.
It all basically comes down to the Golden rule and being aware that other people exist and have their own problems and perspectives.
Put a toy inside of yourself.
A vibrating toy preferably
Sadly, we’re not allowed to do that in the US
Mindfulness. Note your behaviors. Note what leads to your behaviors. It’ll give you insight into what in your life and in your mind leads to “kind” actions as well as what leads to “unkind” actions, which is a huge part of the effort to become more kind.
I wouldn’t call it mindfulness because that has a weird spiritual undertone but I fully agree.
I specifically wanna highlight that the most important actions of kindness are small things and whenever you remember to be kind you will automatically respond that way, because it will be your modus operandi in social interactions. It sounds cliche but the truth is if you prioritize it, it sticks in your mind and often those tiny interactions reflect what is important to you.
That said of course this is not a substitute for taking the effort too. Sometimes it’s annoying to say an extra phrase of kindness but it’s important.
I tell folks, “Be safe.”
Doesn’t sound like much, but a lot of folks I say that too change their attitude to me if it’s poor. They see I care about them enough to want them to be safe.
Also asking everyone at drive thru before I take my order. “How are you doin’ today?” Bonus points when they reply and ask how I am. I’ll say “I’m alive n kickin’.” Which if they say “that’s good.” Or something I reply “that’s what they tell me, but I think they’re lying.”
I have gotten so many laughs out of it. Folks just not excepting me to say it.
And just being nice to anyone. Giving em the goddamn time of day.
I used to know an old man who would respond to “how are you” with an enthusiastic “fantastic!” and then an apologetic “but I hope to get better.”
I have run into old guys like that. Dudes are usually chill. Love interaction like that.
Realize that we’re only alive because of the sun. If it could, it would laugh at us for fighting each other.
While searching for the laughing Teletubbies sun for response, I found something else, which makes me giggle and needed to be shared:
Paying anybody a small compliment is free.
