This question might be too abstract. But it seems like people look for different aspects in romantic relationships. There are the ones that are drawn to opposite traits, ones seeking excitement, ones that wish for a stable anchor in their life, etc. And most of this happens subconsciously – or it does not. Maybe you have a different approach to love. Tell me about it.
Honestly? Friendship plus sex/lust/physical love. I care for my husband as a friend and we enjoy each other sexually, that’s the romantic element.
There are other aspects to our marriage of course, we plan together and have a family and financial alliance, all the old stuff marriage was for, I guess. Except procreation, we each brought our own kids but now they are also each others’ family and allies. But the romantic piece to me is the part related to sex.
And I lean much more towards an opposite/complementary partner not someone like me. We are quite different but so strong together.
I guess that’s why I never understood relationships or romance. I don’t have the urge or capacity to feel sexual things, so being in a relationship goes out the window with 99% of people. And then what would I even be doing in a relationship different than a friendship? Sorry idk what I’m trying to say…just blathering as a lifelong lone wolf.
A friendship is a very valuable relationship, though. I am in nonsexual friendship with other people and those connections are so important. I do think if you are looking for intimate nonsexual relationships with women that is harder, your dating pool will be small. Unless you like sex enough to enjoy pleasing someone else, that would probably expand it some.
As to what you’d be doing, whatever you want I guess! If you can wrap your head around what you would want, maybe you will find it. At least you aren’t trying to change yourself to try to fit in, that’s good.
Yeah, this is pretty much the definition of the Triangle Theory of Love . Intimacy is friendship and familiarity. Passion is the joy and desire for knocking boots. Commitment is making plans and integrating goals/finances/families. If you hit all three of those chords, boom! Consummate love.