(This feels in a way very private.) For now, I’ve talked to people in psychological emergencies, offline+online. They were strangers and I don’t know how they fared after we talked, but in these moments i was there, at least making them not feel alone with their struggles and (hopefully) at most setting a spark of hope that could be the beginning of change (when I explained what helped me / sharing my related stories) and taking responsibility in their own lives.
I visited a neighbour who had a stroke and could barely move after, in a hospital. I went to them for over a month (almost) every day. I organised small things that were important to them in these times, even if they had no impact on their status. I talked to them, made them feel human, showing support for them and their progress. When saying goodbye for the day they broke out multiple times in tears for I was doing this, saying they loved me. (They had nobody else, I barely knew them before the stroke)
[I quit smoking after >10 years, in the third or fourth week of visiting them because I whittnessed (?) the system “hospital” keeping humans barely alive and my neighbour reporting how they got treated by staff and the doctors - 100% dependence (eat, sleep, the table is too far away to reach water(intentionally?), toilet, turning in bed, hygiene, the tv doesn’t work, EVERYTHING) on staff that DGAF, because evolution gave humans a mechanism to cope with being exposed to so much suffering: dampening empathy, inhibiting emotional involvement, coldness on a professional level. (They have to have professional distance, yes.) I’m not blaming or judging, these were my reasons to quit smoking when I couldn’t stop before, on my own.]
[If you want to stop doing a vice (smoking, alc?) or want to get a new perspective and you get a chance to go to a hospital to visit someone, do it. Expose yourself to the humane suffering which otherwise doesn’t really exist in your world. Seeing it makes a difference.]
Helping my neighbour for their time in this hospital was an eye-opening experience for me. Time and health is all we have. I have been very wasteful with my time.
If you are not where you want to be, changing something might be enough to break out of current patterns, even if the change is not better, setting yourself up for positive change when the opportunity arises. Neutral change might be a good first goal.
I confronted people in public when they littered or showed aggression towards weaker people.
A lot of this is associated with “civil courage”, I feel.
Thank you, but I’m also only a human with flaws.