Colorado Representative Lauren Boebert’s campaign said that it was “investigating some very unusual voting patterns,” as the MAGA congresswoman was on the brink of losing her reelection bid.
As Democrat Eileen Laubacher’s lead over Boebert grew slightly Thursday in the race to represent Colorado’s 4th District, Boebert’s campaign released a statement suggesting foul play. Scott Gessler, the attorney for the campaign, claimed that the votes had been “trending” in Boebert’s favor since election night, “consistently lowering the margin under one percentage point.”
“We are investigating some very unusual voting patterns and expect this election to head to a recount, one way or another,” Gessler continued.
As of Friday morning, Laubacher was still leading Boebert 48.75 percent to 47.94 percent, with 97 percent reporting. The two candidates had a margin of 3,069 votes, more than three times the automatic recount threshold of 921 votes. Boebert’s campaign could still choose to pay for a recount.
Have you ever seen those water-wiggler/infinite tube things people used to give out as party favors way back in the before-times? It kind of works like having a built-in one of those at all times. That’s why they started to encourage people to cut them off in the 1800s. People kind of forget that the whole reason Christians started doing it was prudes getting up in their feelings about men having a good wank and the corpos liking the idea of not being able to jack it without having to pay for some Vaseline or a bottle of Jergens.
Something something quantum mechanics