Look it’s great that you’ve got some imaginary being in your head that has helped you accept yourself as you are.

It’s honestly great and I’m sorry that you grew up in a very religious society which can be intolerant of behavior that does not conform to tradition. Do you think that this upbringing could be the reason that you want the blessing of an imaginary* being, one that you can tell yourself is superior to humans, especially those who have hurt you?

* By imaginary, I mean only existing in your mind, otherwise invisible, leaving no clear trace in the physical world. For religious people, these attributes make that being special, and full of potential. Think of what such a being could know or accomplish, unrestricted as it is by the laws of our mundane everyday reality! But for non-religious, can you not see that these same qualities make such beings irrelevant, and even dangerous, because we can create them as we want them, and use them to justify our own shitty behaviour? This is where the concern about immorality comes from - the abdication of responsibility for one’s own beliefs and actions.