How do you stop your mood from being controlled by your P&L?

I’ve noticed a pattern in myself over the last 8 months of trading: green day, I feel great, confident, like I’ve got life figured out. Red day, everything feels heavier, even things unrelated to money.

It’s not just about the money itself anymore, it’s that I’ve let a number on a screen decide how my whole day goes, sometimes how I treat people, how I see myself, whether I feel like “I’m doing well in life” or not.

I know logically this isn’t healthy. But knowing that hasn’t been enough to actually change it.

So I wanted to ask people who’ve been trading, investing, or even just dealing with unpredictable income for longer than I have:

Did this ever stop being tied to your identity for you, or does it just get more manageable with time?

Did you build any specific habit or rule that separated “how my trades did” from “how my day/mood goes”?

Is there a difference in how people who’ve been doing this 5+ years relate to losses compared to someone 8 months in, or does everyone struggle with this at some level?

I don’t think the fix is “stop caring,” because that’s not realistic. I think the fix is something more specific that I haven’t found yet. Curious what’s actually worked for people who’ve been through this longer than me.

    • sandhu@thelemmy.clubOP
      41·
      1 day ago

      Started because I needed the money, not the thrill. But fair point, the pattern can look the same either way…

      • etchinghillside@reddthat.com
        4·
        20 hours ago

        I can assure you trading is not your way out of this. There’s a whole industry of gurus targeting people to sell a dream of independence.

        Save your money and develop skill(s) that result in a tangible product or service that people will pay for. Nothing wrong if you need to pick up a job in food service or retail to support yourself while you figure that out.

  • Encrypt-Keeper@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9·
    1 day ago

    You need to talk to a therapist about this as I’m sure whatever this problem is goes much deeper than what you’re doing with your money.

    Practical mental health advice? Stop day trading. Invest in long term low-risk investments and keep them there and stop looking at them every day. Free yourself

  • lemmyman@lemmy.world
    3·
    1 day ago

    I don’t day trade and I never will, but I have been boglehead-style investing for 15 years or so, with a substantial sum now. I suspect that maybe the specific thing you’re seeking will end up being “stop day trading.”

    I tune out the noise. I don’t invest hoping to make 10% in a day (and I see that more as gambling, anyway), I am hoping to make 200% in 15 years, and the daily volatility just isn’t a factor on that timescale.

    So when I “lost” 100k in March, I didn’t think about it at all until I updated my monthly data. And then it was just to chuckle and say “bet that’ll rebound soon.”