Well, in particular, my Mum was cremated as per her wishes, and that’s what my Dad plans too, but I don’t begrudge the coffin or the cars - none of us were in a fit state to drive and we weren’t about to shove her in the incinerator in a body bag out from someone’s boot. I don’t know what else you wanted us to do instead. She has a little stone in the kerb lining the path to the crematorium, because we didn’t want there to be nothing physical left after we scattered her ashes. The funeral directors were very good at their job, very useful to have around, and a great help on a difficult day. All your contempt for having a ceremony and making an event out of it, by contrast, not so helpful. If you ever meet anyone on real life who’s grieving, please don’t talk to them like you vent online.
I work in healthcare, I meet people grieving pretty regularly. My opinions stay at the door - I’ll even go as far as praying with patients, and I don’t have a shred of religion in me… to the contrary, I fucking despise religion; but if that’s what brings them comfort, then fuck it, I’ll play along.
Your case is basically the same gig - if having a mom urn brings you comfort, then you do you. Difference is that you already know my opinion, so we’re bashing heads right out the gate, but I’ll remind you of the thread topic to proclaim an unpopular opinion that we know doesn’t mean shit.
I don’t know what else you wanted us to do instead.
Dude, you don’t need to justify your decisions to me, and you certainly don’t need to change your behavior based on an internet stranger’s ‘hot take’. Where you see comfort in ceremony, I see an industry that relies on predation of people during an extremely vulnerable time. Engaging with that industry makes me feel taken advantage of; but there’s a lot of social pressure to conform which makes it feel even more uncomfortable. Our opinions don’t need to be reconciled.
Well, in particular, my Mum was cremated as per her wishes, and that’s what my Dad plans too, but I don’t begrudge the coffin or the cars - none of us were in a fit state to drive and we weren’t about to shove her in the incinerator in a body bag out from someone’s boot. I don’t know what else you wanted us to do instead. She has a little stone in the kerb lining the path to the crematorium, because we didn’t want there to be nothing physical left after we scattered her ashes. The funeral directors were very good at their job, very useful to have around, and a great help on a difficult day. All your contempt for having a ceremony and making an event out of it, by contrast, not so helpful. If you ever meet anyone on real life who’s grieving, please don’t talk to them like you vent online.
I work in healthcare, I meet people grieving pretty regularly. My opinions stay at the door - I’ll even go as far as praying with patients, and I don’t have a shred of religion in me… to the contrary, I fucking despise religion; but if that’s what brings them comfort, then fuck it, I’ll play along.
Your case is basically the same gig - if having a mom urn brings you comfort, then you do you. Difference is that you already know my opinion, so we’re bashing heads right out the gate, but I’ll remind you of the thread topic to proclaim an unpopular opinion that we know doesn’t mean shit.
Dude, you don’t need to justify your decisions to me, and you certainly don’t need to change your behavior based on an internet stranger’s ‘hot take’. Where you see comfort in ceremony, I see an industry that relies on predation of people during an extremely vulnerable time. Engaging with that industry makes me feel taken advantage of; but there’s a lot of social pressure to conform which makes it feel even more uncomfortable. Our opinions don’t need to be reconciled.