We’re spending all this money on you now so you can’t grow up and say we didn’t spend money on you when your were a kid.

C’mon now, don’t be ungrateful. I mean… you made the conscious decision to be born, right?

I’m American: my dad told me a couple years ago that immigrants were “unclean.” I’m almost 40, and that was the first time he’d ever used that phrase. That’s probably the first time I realized how “mainstream” extremism had become, since he has virtually zero online presence.

I went on a trip to another country. Unfortunately, I had an accident (involving a fucking hurricane) that almost killed me.I had insurance so they covered all the medical expenses, including tickets and accomdations for one of my parents (aka: one of them could come free of charge). They decided that it was a good opportunity to visit the country since one was coming “for free” and they only had to pay for the other one.

Years later, my father told me that they are still paying the debt for the money they spent “because of me” when I had that accident so it was my fault they were in debt.

My mother did the slitty eyed gesture and said that there were too many chi*ks here, in the car part for a large asian grocery store in the local chinatown that she had chosen to go to, to buy asian food. Yes other people heard and saw what she did, including asians. This was more than twenty years ago so not linked to the current rise of more overt racism.

My dad recently buult a new garden shed in the garden for tools and gardening stuff. He now started refering to the gazebo in the same garden as “the old shed” for some fucking reason. We were doing something that required power and ge asked me to plug in an extension in the shed. I do that and a couple minutes later he berates me and says he meant the old shed. When I asked if he meant the gazebo, he looked at me as if I had slapped him in the face. We’ve had the gazebo for about 15 years now I think and nobody ever called anything but that.

My Dad’s gone totally off the rails conspiracy theory nutty.

Fake moon landings, fluoride in the water is mind control, vaccines cause autism and maybe microchips and mind control again, foreign people are simultaneously lazy stealing benefits and stealing all the jobs, my god the racism. He fell into an echo chamber during COVID and hasn’t come out again.

The best one was when I was telling him as a healthcare professional on the front lines watching patients and colleagues die that COVID was serious and we should take any opportunity to avoid it and make it better, he told me it was just flu and all fake news.

Yeah I don’t talk to my parents much anymore.

When I was little, I did something bad (I don’t even remember what it was), and my mom got angry with me about it, and I was already crying, and I asked her “Do you still love me?” and she said “I don’t know”, and that shit has stuck with me forever and I’m sure contributes to the fact that I don’t truly trust anyone. If I brought it up to her now, she’d 100% deny it.

The day my niece was born, my mom had asked me to wake her up so that she could be there after the birth.

Apparently, me actually doing what she asked me to do turned out to be a grave insult.

She ended up yelling and screaming at me, which triggered me, so I started yelling and screaming at her, and then she hit me with the only thing she could think of to actually hurt me.

See, from before I get into that, I’ve got to explain that from the time I was 15 until I graduated high school at 17, my mom and my stepdad essentially locked me in my room and only let me out for punishment, which was digging up stumps in the backyard or picking up a rock from one pile and hauling it to another pile, picking up a different rock from that pile, hauling that one to the third pile, back and forth. for eight to ten hours a day, And for going to school, just enough to prevent CPS from being called on them.

There was also a healthy dose of corporal punishment on top of that, being beaten for half an hour or longer for the smallest infraction.

It really messed with my head because I honestly thought like at some point they would come to their senses and realize how absurd the entire thing was and apologize and they never fucking did.

Anyway, now that we’ve got the groundwork in place, my mom decided she would say the thing that she could think of to hurt me, which was to tell me that her mother, my evil grandmother, had convinced her to do all of those things because otherwise no one would ever love me.

And why is it that otherwise no one would ever love me?

because I’m not white

My mom had shamed the entire family by marrying a Native American and giving birth to his child, And my grandmother, who is evil for multiple reasons, and I’ll be glad to go into those, cause may she rot in piss, was a terrible person, had decided that the only way to cleanse the family of the stain of my existence was to psychologically induce my own mother into tormenting me in every single possible way she could.

And so every single time I think about all the opportunities I missed out on and all the times my mom wasn’t there for me and all of the times that I was neglected and abused throughout my entire childhood, it all rolls back to my grandmother being a racist cunt, and my mother somehow not realizing that for what it was, and just being a good little flying monkey and doing whatever her mother told her to do with her own fucking child.

So yeah, I was abused because my grandmother is racist, and I didn’t find out about that until I was 23 years old.

I had moved away a few years and my mother was homeless due to her own choices and lack of effort to do anything. My wife and I were in town visiting her family, and we decided to take my mother out to dinner. During the meal she was (rightly) complaining about the perils of being homeless and having to watch out for the pigs. I suggested that she look into getting into some government housing. You know her response?

“I don’t want to be the light in he dark.”

If you’re as confused as I pretended I was, she means she didn’t want to live with/around black people. Which was really fucking surprising to me, considering we had lived with, around, and had been friends with all kinds of POC growing up (as you you tend to do in poor and mixed neighborhoods and when you have to rent out rooms to get by). That level of racism was rather surprising, but she had become toxic as fuck in the years before I moved, so it shouldn’t have been.

Two weeks after I explained to my father why I had an abortion … and he calmly said he understood my reasons … he told me I’d murdered his grandchild.

He was a real winner, my dad.

My mother telling me I should not think that she makes any money with me. (Backstory: Was living with her, dad paid alimony child support). I was baffled, because even when I lowkey suspected that, it was not even a relevant thing for our conversation at this time.

A few years later, when I wanted to move out for studying it was suddendly a problem, because she could not make the full payments for her house without the alimony child supprt from my dad. So I stayed.

Some more years down the line I finally wanted to move out, as I had a full time job in sight and wanted to live with my boyfriend. I was in my mid-twenties. Basically the conversation was the same as before, she could not pay for her house without me. She could not answer my question how she thought this would work out. Was she expecting me to live with her until she paid for the house? Because this would be up until my forties, maybe longer. The house is not big enough for two families, so it was never an option for me and my bf to move in. Of course I moved out.

I remember talking about how the sun is relatively small compared to how big stars can get. Then my dad said “wait, the sun isn’t a star…” He basically thought the sun’s technical term was “a sun” and that stars are actually as tiny as they appear to us in the sky.

The money thing is such a fucked up thing to say. “Do you know how much money you cost?!” As if the price of raising children is something a 6 yo is responsible for!

If I was gay I’d have to be lobotomized, not would or could, I’d have to be… and he’d do it himself. 10 yo and wanted my dad dead.

And the insane gaslighting! He’d stink of cigarettes, reeeeek! Clearly he’d been smoking, but would deny it with the shittiest lies: person X blew smoke in my face! I walked past someone who smoked!

Or when I got a bicycle, dad would guilt trip me af for having spent money on it. And whenever I couldn’t cycle, meaning it would take 10 yo me an hour to get there (20ish KM), he’d be fuming and say he’d sell the bike since I’m not using it…

I’m firmly a believer that having children shouldn’t be allowed for everyone. Some people are terrible and should be sterilized and enslaved. I just don’t know how to implement it, yet!

My dad once said he never hit me as a kid. I was like “bro what world are you living in?”

My relationship with them was already in very thin ice due to repeated trust issues over the years, but what finally sealed it was my coming out to my dad and his response being “it’s all because of this woke generation”. Coming from someone who I thought had a very left leaning stance, therapy over the following years made me realize just how shitty and homophobic they really were. Turns out I’m probably more bi than gay (also ace), but it still stands.