Back when I was in elementary school, I had a classmate named “Noah Bates” and they called him Master Bates as a joke. I didn’t understand at the time so I want home and asked my mom why they kept calling him that, and why this was supposed to be funny. She couldn’t explain, was all flustered, and eventually said that it was a sexual innuendo, which I also didn’t understand the meaning of. We never had any other serious discussions about sex or drugs. Parents never drank alcohol even so I figured it was a non-starter with them.

We had sex ed in high school, but they spoke of it in terms my brain didn’t understand. “It’s better than any drug” yes but I haven’t done any drugs yet, so that is a meaningless comparison to me. A pretty dry and technical rundown of it. The DARE officer brought that suitcase full of drugs that shows you what each one is supposed to look like, and all I remember is wondering what they all did. I also had to write a paper on why drugs were bad, and I got hallucinogens as a topic. The only thing I could come up with that misconstruing a dangerous situation and injuring yourself.