Like what biological function thinks it’s helpful to want to die? It’s a visceral reaction so it has to be a kind of biological intuition.
I’ve got it so bad off of something that is seemingly not worth this reaction. But I can’t shake it anyway. But if this sense is biological, then it can cascade beyond reason like an allergic reaction.
I went to a board game night with some folks who are mostly acquaintances. I show up and a group is already starting to figure out a game and it looked like the easiest group to join. This game is bad. I was chill. My teammate was chill. The people we were playing with were chill. But this game was so bad I can’t shake the fact that despite everyone having made the best of it, this was not a good social interaction. And I just feel bad. More bad than I should feel. It’s just painful.
The game was Jurassic Park Danger! And maybe I just need to tell someone. I’m not going to do anything. I don’t need a wellness check. But I can’t shake this feeling like death would be ok and maybe for the best.
What is it about bad social interactions that make us feel like death is preferable?
Not really but this one time, a long time ago when I was a preteen, I was on holiday with the fam and I kinda snuck into the kitchen and started yapping with the cooks (I have that ADHD 👍). Anyway, it was two ladies and one dude and the dude was talking about how he’s gonna be a dad and he’s so happy and the lady next to him had a big pregnant belly so I congratulated them both (“of course that’s his partner, that’s just how it is”- my kid brain). She wasn’t pregnant, nor was she his partner, and at least both ladies laughed… I apologised, went back to ask for pancakes, and went back to my mom feeling very embarrassed. 🫣😅