Two religious parents filed a lawsuit on Wednesday against the Anne Arundel County Public School District of Maryland for allegedly “socially transitioning” their child with a masculine name and pronouns without notifying them.
The parents, identified in court documents only as John and Jane Doe, are being represented by America First Legal (AFL), an anti-LGBTQ+ conservative legal organization. The parents want school officials to start misgendering their child and for the judge to declare the school district’s trans-inclusive name and pronoun policies as illegal. The school district has declined to comment on the case.
The lawsuit, filed in Maryland’s U.S. District Court, says the school began referring to the child with a masculine name and pronouns at the beginning of the school year at the student’s request. The parents only became aware of this last December 10 when the school emailed the parents about a lab experiment happening in class the next day. The email used a male name to refer to their child, The Baltimore Banner reported.
The staff member who sent the email reportedly tried to unsend it and then sent the parents a message saying that the email wasn’t intended to go to them, the lawsuit said. The following day, the parents allegedly spoke to the staff member who “admitted to lying in the emails” and informed the parents that their child had requested the masculine name and pronouns, the lawsuit adds.
I think I would agree for, like, a school counselor for instance. That’s much more analogous to something like a therapist. Teachers aren’t mental health professionals though. They’re there to teach.
But I think we need to have a more meta conversation about the idealized roles of parents and schools.
In my mind, the parent has the ultimate responsibility for the raising of their child. It is their job to teach their child how to be a good and responsible member of society.
School is there as an institution of formalized learning to help build an educated society.
School is not a day care. School is not there to teach your child how to be a good person. School does not obviate your responsibility as a parent to raise your child right.
Obviously teachers should model good behavior to the children in their care, as should every adult in their life, but the ultimate responsibility for that falls on the parents.
When the school actively lies to the parents about their child, they are taking away the parents ability to fulfill that responsibility.
Now, the school may be doing it for good reason. Many parents are bad parents, and are doing a poor job of raising their children. Most even. People suck.
But the state saying, “you’re not raising your children poorly enough that we are going to take them away from you, but we disagree with how you’re doing it enough that we’re gonna actively lie to you,” feels like a weird middle ground to live in that doesn’t feel great to me.
School is not just an institution for formal education. Schools are have rights and responsibilities with regard to child care. Most schools act as a co-parent, providing structure, support, and discipline, while also fostering social, emotional, and intellectual growth. This situation is the equivalent of confiding in one parent and not another. Even if their parents were totally cool with names and pronouns, betraying that confidence destroys the child’s trust, agency, and sense of security.
If a parent believes it’s their sole responsibility to rear their child, they should be homeschooling. The second you put a kid on a bus, you’re co-parenting with the state.
You are inventing a situation to try and make the school look bad. The child specifically asked the school not to tell the parents. The school didn’t invent some standard against the parents to not tell them. The child did. Data establishes quite clearly that revealing information like this to parents is harmful to the child.