The morbidly obese fucktwit with a shitty spray tan and a flappy vagina on his neck thinks he can mock other people’s physical appearances. The irony is fucking rich.

Jokes on her, he’s too fucking dead to resign.

Since everything is projection with these fuckwads, I’ll just go ahead and assume Pete has to take testosterone supplements because he lost his testicles in a really embarrassing, freak accident. Like his testicles got severed from his body because his pants were just too tight. Or he was using a car buffer to jerk off, but it slipped and took his scrotum off.

Has anyone in the press simply asked “is Mitch dead?” Or are they just asking for updates on his health? Like, there is no fucking update. He’s dead. These fuckers are not only depriving Kentuckians of their representation in Congress, but they’ve also deprived the rest of the country the ability to properly celebrate this asshole’s long awaited demise.

Here’s hoping he resists arrest, and a jumpy rookie mistakes his cell phone for a Glock.

What are you fucking waiting for?

I bet it is VERY enlightening. And by that I mean horrifying.

Ok Mike, better check up on what kind of porn your son is wanking off too right now. Fucking weirdo.

Judging by the guy who told the ladybug story, I think most of them felt like it wasn’t worth the money.

I really don’t think there’ll ever be a shortage of money from closeted gay Republicans. Especially in DC.

Male escorts all over DC are probably celebrating the hardest right now.

End up like what? It’s always fucking been like this.